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All About Gay Weddings

The Right Way to Refer to a Lesbian Couple

Is it ever proper to address a married lesbian couple as “Mrs. and Mrs.”?

Ha! I’ve gotten this question in my mailbox more than a half-dozen times in recent months, especially as there seems to be more of a trend of both lesbian and gay couples taking on one of their family names. A couple of years ago when I answered this question I suggested, entirely tongue in cheek, that we revert to the French and deploy “Mesdames” for such a situation. But times move on, and now when Helen Schiller marries Marguerite Rivera, they may become the Schillers (or the Riveras). They may be properly addressed, if they so choose, as Mrs. and Mrs. Schiller. Or Rivera.

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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